Life Before EFT

night-3072_640At nine, I was nicknamed beanpole. By the time I was twelve, I had attended my first diet group and weighed in at a mere 161.5 pounds. Now I know you might be thinking that something VERY TERRIBLE must have happened in my life but that’s not the case. Instead, it was a whole string of little things that wove the fabric of my self esteem and helped me to form some pretty significant beliefs about myself. The messages were pretty clear to me. I was fat, fat (therefore I) was unlovable. I was not good enough (I was unlovable). Boys didn’t want fat girls (so I was unlovable). As long as I was fat I would be unlovable. You might sense a pattern here.

It didn’t matter what I did or how successful I became at anything I did, I was never going to be good enough and no one would ever love me as long as I was fat.

I spent tens of thousands of dollars on personal development, self help, counseling, exercise programs and let’s not forget, diets. Now don’t get me wrong, there isn’t anything I really regret having done (ok, there is one thing). I learned so much about myself but no matter what I signed up for the secret desire remained…maybe this time I would lose the weight.

Twice divorced, resolved to being on my own and making the best of it. I didn’t spend a lot of time on selection. If they loved me that must be enough, shortly after turning 50 I lost my Mom and somewhere within that same year, my best friend of over 20 years. During a rather significant “dark night of the soul” I got crystal clear about what it was that I really wanted and needed. I had always been “fiercely independent” and while that had given me what I needed to go to university as a single Mom and earn a degree as a single Mom and create a good life for my son and I, it hadn’t really served me well in relationships. I was so determined to take care of myself, there wasn’t really room for anyone else. Once I achieved that clarity, the universe was happy to deliver. Not long after, I met a wonderful man and together we created an amazing life. I had everything I had ever wanted; lots of family, a beautiful home, a vacation home.

I was living my dream but as time went by I was struggling. I still wasn’t happy…with me.

My career wasn’t providing a dependable distraction either. After 25 years working as a Registered Nurse I was missing “the juice”. A firm believer that if you don’t love what you’re doing, do something else, I knew it was time to take the leap. I had completed coaching certification years before but had always lacked the confidence to make the transition out of a “job” and into coaching. Enter EFT training and certification. I had heard about EFT several times and was intrigued by what it offered. Being my industrious little self I taught myself the basics and was feeling pretty good with how well it was working to manage stress and anxiety. Training formally seemed like the next course of action and God knows I was looking for a change.

I thought I was choosing a new career path – little did I know I would embark on the journey of my life!

Tammy Hahn

One Comment

  • Margaret Anne on Sep 28, 2015 Reply

    What a beautiful sweet story from an amazing woman with a heart of gold. Many will benefit from your work. Website is great. I am so proud of you, my friend.

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